Tequila and Candy Drops: A Blueberry Springs Sweet Romance Read online

  “You sound like you need a shoulder. Maybe I can take a few days before I go—we can both call in sick. Play hooky.”

  She nodded, tears falling. She needed her best friend, her confidant. Someone to tell her it was all going to be okay. She smiled through her tears. The fact that he was offering to put his own needs and wants aside told her that things, one way or another, were going to work out.

  “I can’t let you lose your ticket money because of me. That’s silly. You’re trying to help out a guy.”

  “It’s just money. If you need me, I’m here. I made a promise to you.”

  Her heart warmed. There was that devotion she’d been looking for a few weeks ago.

  She made up her mind on the spot. He should have one last hurrah. Parenthood was going to pin them both down in ways they weren’t used to. And while she knew he wasn’t ready for a deep commitment or marriage, she knew he’d be there for their baby in any way he could—that’s the kind of man he was.

  Plus, him going on the trip would give her a few more days to come up with a plan for them to follow that would take the scary edge off the massive cliff of the unknown that was looming over them.

  “It would be selfish of me to keep you from going. We can celebrate my birthday some other time. You need to go,” she said firmly.

  “You sounded pretty upset, Nic. I don’t want something like this to come between us.”

  “I’m just dealing with a lot right now.” She paused, her voice lifting as she said, “And Todd?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Don’t give up that trip, okay?”

  Chapter 8

  Oh, boy. She was definitely going to puke. Todd was walking toward her, his pace slow as he chatted with a woman who kept touching his arm. He was smiling, looking as though he enjoyed the attention, which made Nicola itch with jealousy and worry. That woman needed to back off. Todd was hers.

  The irrational devil on her shoulder played an imaginary reel of a movie: one where Nicola lifted the platter of cheese sitting on the table beside her and dumped it on both of them. That was, if the smell of room-temperature cheeses didn’t make her stomach turn.

  To distract herself, she performed a visual check of the event. The town hall’s lobby was filling with people who’d come to see the local art. The wine and cheese tables were set up and stocked. There was nothing for her to do. No distractions. She’d even straightened the holiday decorations Jill had put up weeks ago—only about a month ahead of the rest of town—in hopes that her colleagues would be so tired of seeing them they’d be happy when she took them down after the New Year and wouldn’t hide them on her like they did last year.

  In fact, Nicola hardly had any big distractions any longer. There were only five more social nights left to run and those were entirely planned. That would get her through the holiday season and to New Year’s when she’d start planning the Valentine’s Day Love Extravaganza as she had last year.

  In other words, her mind was fairly free to stress out about her and Todd and the baby.

  Nicola turned to the man she was thinking of, and his eyes met hers. His smile widened and his pace picked up. Her gut warmed as she automatically began stepping toward him. He engulfed her in a hug, holding her close, his open jacket still cool from the outdoors. He pressed her against his chest, his body heat welcoming and feeling so good she wished they could stay against him forever. When they were together it felt as though everything was going to be okay.

  He held her back to take her in. “Last night I was worried you were on the verge of having a breakdown, but you look fantastic. You have this healthy glow.” He smiled, toying with a strand of her hair.

  It was a perfect opening for her to reveal their upcoming parenting situation. Forget waiting, this was her chance. “Yeah, I do.” She swallowed, unable to say more. He needed that scuba trip. She couldn’t tell him now. It wouldn’t be fair. She had to wait.

  He chatted about Cuba, telling her tales of adventure as he checked out the wine and cheese spread that he’d arranged through his business contacts. Because they’d sponsored the food and beverages, she’d made the social night free and opened it to the general public. And looking around the bustling room, she realized it had become a community event, one she hoped would continue on throughout the years.

  “Who says Blueberry Springs doesn’t have culture?” Devon asked, coming up beside her, arms out to showcase the display of arts and crafts.

  “Devon,” Todd said with quick nod, giving the man’s hand a brief shake.

  “Todd,” Devon said easily, winking at Nicola.

  Todd narrowed his eyes and Nicola quickly glanced away, afraid Devon would give up her secret. So far, he was the only one who’d voiced a suspicion that she might be expecting, and even then, she hadn’t confirmed the news to him.

  “Hey,” Todd said, pulling her aside as Devon went to chat with his sister. “I need to go to Honduras for work just before Christmas, and since Belize didn’t work out and I know you don’t like hanging out with your dad for the holidays, want to come with me? We could meet up once I’m done, and we’ll eat strange food and bum around until New Year’s. Do that instead of Hawaii?”

  Nicola blinked a few times, trying to imagine herself pregnant in an undeveloped country. She imagined it would be difficult to keep herself and the baby safe from waterborne diseases, as well as deal with foods and smells her body wasn’t used to.

  She hedged for time. “Um.”

  She froze, then started shaking her head. No. Not Honduras. It was one of the countries with the mosquito-borne disease Zika, which could impact their unborn child.

  No way. She couldn’t go. Wouldn’t go.

  “Uh...” She scrambled for a suitable excuse, reluctant to give him the direct, big fat no that was floating through her mind. “I’m not sure that country is on my hit list. Maybe somewhere else?” She frowned. She was compromising. She had no desire to fly somewhere over the holidays. Sure, it was her last chance to cut loose before the baby, but she wanted to rest, be home, relax. She wanted to snuggle up and spend time with her boyfriend.

  “Honduras, Nic!” Todd said, trying to convince her. “It’s rugged, fresh, real.”

  And possibly deadly for their baby.

  She shook her head.

  “What?” He looked puzzled. “You don’t want to spend Christmas with me?”

  “I do. I really do. But not there.” He was still watching her oddly. “It’s just not who I am at the moment, I guess.”

  “Okay.” He looked thoughtful. “Greece? Norway.” He pointed at her with a triumphant smile. “Think of all those hunky pirates.”

  “Vikings.”

  “Right, Vikings. Tough guys in ships.” His smile faded as he took in her frown. “No Vikings?”

  “I want to stay here, do something low-key.”

  “Huh.” For the first time since high school she couldn’t read his expression.

  “Don’t you want to unwind and get over your constant jet lag? You’re always off somewhere these days,” Nicola stated.

  He shrugged. “I thought we could hang out.”

  “Then why don’t you?”

  Because settling down in the middle of nowhere wasn’t his thing.

  “I meant in Honduras,” he said. “Somewhere away from work distractions.”

  “All you do is travel—”

  “For work. This would be for us.”

  “Right now the idea of getting on a plane makes me want to vomit.”

  “Wow.” He blinked at her sudden outburst.

  “If you can’t handle that, then I don’t know what to tell you.”

  She vibrated with fear as he stared at her in shock. She wanted him to stay because it was what he wanted, not because he felt obligated. She wanted to be all the things he craved in his life, to be enough to satisfy his wanderlust. But in her heart the doubt that she could ever be all of that for him was so massive she could hardly bear it any longer.


  Her eyes welled up and she quickly turned away, pretending to check an artist label stuck to the wall beside a finger painting.

  “Wine?” Todd asked at her elbow a moment later, holding out a glass like a peace offering.

  She shook her head. “No, thanks.”

  He passed her glass to someone nearby. “What’s up with you?” he asked softly.

  “What’s up with you?” she retorted just as quickly. “We start a relationship and then you vanish. How’s that supposed to make me feel?”

  He watched her for a long moment, then asked, “Are you trying to break up with me?”

  “No!”

  “It feels like we’re fighting but I don’t know what we’re fighting about.”

  “We’re not fighting.”

  “Then what’s wrong with you?”

  “I’m pregnant.”

  The room went silent around them and Nicola had to glance away from Todd’s stunned expression. That was definitely not how she’d planned on telling him.

  Her aunts were the first to begin talking, moving toward the two of them. Nicola grabbed Todd’s sleeve and yanked him through a side door and into the alley. A layer of fresh snow covered the ground and she shivered, wrapping her arms around herself.

  Behind her, warmth closed in as Todd settled his jacket over her shoulders.

  “What’s going on, Nicola? For real?” When she turned, she saw that his expression was stony, difficult to read.

  “We’re having a baby next July,” she said, her throat thick with emotion.

  “Is that what this is all about? A baby?”

  “Is what all about?” She could feel herself bristling, her defense system engaging.

  “Not wanting to travel anymore? Pregnant women can travel, you know. And people with kids travel, too.”

  “Todd, it’s not about traveling. It’s about…”

  “About what?”

  She slowly met his eyes, determined to lay it all out there even if it hurt them both.

  “You’re always leaving me. You’re never here.” And I never know if you’re going to return to me.

  He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “You want me to quit my job?”

  “No! I want you to…to…”

  “You kept telling me to go, that it’s fine.”

  “It is fine! But it feels like you take every chance you can to run away from here, from me. From commitment.”

  “Is that the way you see it?”

  “Because that’s the way it is. We’ve spent every one of my birthdays together since we were sixteen.”

  “You told me to go and I said I’d cancel if you wanted me to.”

  “The decision was already made! You’d lose over a thousand dollars if you changed your mind.”

  “Well…” He stuck out his finger, ready to argue. “I might run, but you hide. You can’t tell me you don’t use your constant planning to avoid me and our relationship.”

  “I am not hiding out,” she said haughtily. “And were you really the only person who could save the day and take that scuba trip?”

  He didn’t say anything, simply stared at her.

  She shook her head, backing away. From day one she’d been way more invested in this relationship, and not just because of the baby.

  The unreturned “I love you.”

  Him being sent out on travel jobs because his bosses thought of him as single and he hadn’t bothered to correct them.

  “Nicola…”

  “Don’t tell me to be reasonable,” she snapped, guessing where he was going based on his tone. “I’ve been giving you freedom so you don’t run away, but I’m done. I need you in my life, Todd, and if you don’t want to be here with me then you need to man up and tell me. Or better yet, just leave. Save us both the bother and heartache, and just do what you’re going to do anyway.”

  “Is that what you want?” There was a strange silence, a stillness in him, and she knew this was a turning point. A point of no return.

  She froze, uncertain, wishing her words back.

  “Fine.” His eyes were dark, his jaw set. He turned, moving fast down the alley, turning the corner, disappearing from sight.

  Nicola sagged against the painted cinderblock wall, his jacket still wrapped around her shoulders, sobs catching in her throat.

  * * *

  Nicola dropped Twiggy’s leash on the floor and dragged herself to bed, flopping down, face-first. Todd had stormed away three hours ago. Simply walked out of her life without a word.

  It was over.

  She’d known he would leave. He wanted the freedom to stay footloose and fancy free, travel anywhere, anytime. It meant she’d raise their child alone, but that was all right. She would spare her little one the pain of having a father like her own, only there because of a legal obligation. Nicola would love their baby and never allow it to believe she’d been held back in any way because it had come along.

  She rolled over to face the ceiling. The whole town must know by now. After her fight with Todd, she’d texted Jill, asking her to wrap up the event, unable to face her aunts and everyone else back inside. She’d slunk home to lick her wounds, eventually taking her dog for a brisk walk that had burned off her anger, leaving behind nothing but the raw ache in her chest where her heart had once been.

  Someone rapped lightly at her door and she sighed, rolling over. The knocking continued and, feeling as heavy as a ton of bricks, she peeled herself off the bed to go answer.

  It was Devon. Devon and a big tub of ice cream. He began rummaging through her small kitchen.

  “You’re a mess,” he stated.

  “Thanks for making me feel awesome.”

  “That’s the ice cream’s job.”

  “Why are you here?”

  He handed her a bowl filled with several scoops of chocolate ice cream.

  “No fudge chunks?” she asked, accepting the bowl. Todd would know she wanted the fudge kind. Not barely brown chocolate iced dessert masking as ice cream and sold in a bucket bigger than a baby’s bathtub. She pushed the bowl aside. If she was going to drown her sorrows she needed the good stuff.

  “Nicola?”

  She looked up, meeting Devon’s serious gaze.

  “I’ll stand by you. No matter what. I’m here.”

  She blinked back tears.

  “He might not be, but I am. As a friend.”

  She squeezed his hand. “Thanks, Devon.”

  “And with a bunch of pesky younger siblings, I’m pretty good with diapers and bottles, too.”

  She pressed her tongue to her top lip as she struggled to hold it together.

  Someone else knocked at the door and Devon quickly answered it. Nicola pulled her emotions back in line before Amber appeared beside him in the kitchen doorway.

  Nicola sagged against the counter, head in her hands. What was this, a pity party? An intervention? She’d heard Blueberry Springs had had quite a few over the years. She kind of wanted to be a part of one—but not as the pathetic spectacle in need of saving.

  “I brought reinforcements,” Devon announced.

  “Conversation over your head, hey, buddy?” Amber said to him, then went straight to Nicola’s side. “What did he do?”

  “We broke up.”

  Devon sucked a loud inhalation between his teeth and winced. “I didn’t hear about that part, only the fight part, and then saw Todd streak out of town.”

  “Not helpful,” Amber said, giving him a glare.

  “I brought ice cream,” he pointed out.

  “Thanks for making us fat,” she retorted, scooping herself a bowl. “What is this crap? You couldn’t even spring for the good stuff?”

  “That’s for Nicola, you ice cream snob.”

  Amber lifted the massive bucket. “You’re kidding, right? There’s enough ice cream here to make a herd of goats sick.” She shook her head at the brown frozen treat. “We’re going to have to eat the whole bucket before we feel any better, and by then we
’ll be so bloated we’ll want to strangle you. You have to buy the high-fat, real sugar, horrible-for-you-but-tastes-heavenly kind, Devon Mattson. The stuff Katie’s husband, Dr. Leham, gets.”

  Devon was starting to look ticked off by Amber’s ice cream rant.

  “I thought Katie and Nash lived in the city.” Nicola said. She’d heard of the couple in passing as they used to live in Blueberry Springs. If she recalled correctly, her aunts had once tried to chase Nash out of town but now loved him. Which begged the question—what would they do to Todd when they found out he’d pulled a runner?

  “Yeah, but it doesn’t matter. This affront to your pain does.” Amber aimed a spoon at the bucket with a sad shake of her head before scooping out a chunk for herself.

  “I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Nicola said.

  “Run away with me,” Devon suggested. “If he loves you, he’ll chase you. If not, we’ll have fun as a married couple.”

  “Devon!” both women yelled, and he backed toward the exit.

  “Such fickle senses of humor.” He opened the door, slipping into his sneakers, not bothering to lace them up. “Text me if you need anything.”

  “Why would he agree to breaking up?” Amber asked once Devon was gone. “Did you guys want different things or something?”

  “We weren’t that serious.”

  “Don’t give me that crap. Especially if you’re truly preggers. That’s got serious written all over it, even if it was a whoopsie.”

  “He still saw us as friends with benefits, and wasn’t willing to change his life.” Not that she’d given him a ton of time to change, but still. The opportunities had been there.

  “No man wants friends with benefits once they’re past a certain age unless they’re a douche. And Todd is not a douche. So what was it?”

  Nicola stopped spooning the subpar ice cream into her mouth. She considered Amber’s logic. Had Todd actually wanted more from their relationship but she’d kept hiding behind her work like he’d said? Had she refused to let him change or get close enough in case they failed?